Dr. Williams
is
SALAT FRAÜLEIN
with her sidekick
Crouton Girl
is
SALAT FRAÜLEIN
with her sidekick
Crouton Girl
There's a reason Hidden Valley is hidden...
Deep in Hidden Valley Headquarters (H.V.H.Q.) there lies a secret laboratory filled with wonders and atrocities. Come down the escalator and one would find a huge table in the middle of the room with all sorts of creepy instruments used for unhuman experiments. Also in this room are cages, filled with cute little monkeys they shoot into space with huge bowls of salad and Hidden Valley dressing. One day, as Dr. Williams and her team were getting ready to fire a monkey into orbit, a group of blind sightseers came down the escalator looking for the bathroom. Dr. Williams noticed them and said "Excuse me...!"
"Oh, sorry, I didn't know this stall was being used." So the sightseers went back to the escalator and started to go up. They didn't get far, though, as they escalator was a down escalator. They didn't stop, though, just kept stepping. Dr. Williams turned around to face her team.
"Alright, boys, " she said, "let's get that chimp in the rocket." So the team got to work.
"Hydro-spanner-boosters?"
"Check."
"Propulsion crystal splitter?"
"Check."
"Zingers, Ho-Hos, Twinkies?"
"No thanks!"
Unfortunately, when it was time to get the monkey, one of the blind tourists that got a job there grabbed Dr. Williams and put her in the space capsule. When the team noticed Dr. Williams wasn't there, they just figured she had got a bite to eat. They launched, and she was shot into orbit with only salad, salad dressing, gum, and duct tape.
Five Days Later
Deep in Hidden Valley Headquarters (H.V.H.Q.) there lies a secret laboratory filled with wonders and atrocities. Come down the escalator and one would find a huge table in the middle of the room with all sorts of creepy instruments used for unhuman experiments. Also in this room are cages, filled with cute little monkeys they shoot into space with huge bowls of salad and Hidden Valley dressing. One day, as Dr. Williams and her team were getting ready to fire a monkey into orbit, a group of blind sightseers came down the escalator looking for the bathroom. Dr. Williams noticed them and said "Excuse me...!"
"Oh, sorry, I didn't know this stall was being used." So the sightseers went back to the escalator and started to go up. They didn't get far, though, as they escalator was a down escalator. They didn't stop, though, just kept stepping. Dr. Williams turned around to face her team.
"Alright, boys, " she said, "let's get that chimp in the rocket." So the team got to work.
"Hydro-spanner-boosters?"
"Check."
"Propulsion crystal splitter?"
"Check."
"Zingers, Ho-Hos, Twinkies?"
"No thanks!"
Unfortunately, when it was time to get the monkey, one of the blind tourists that got a job there grabbed Dr. Williams and put her in the space capsule. When the team noticed Dr. Williams wasn't there, they just figured she had got a bite to eat. They launched, and she was shot into orbit with only salad, salad dressing, gum, and duct tape.
Five Days Later
"This sucks! Salad, and that's it! I never realized what we were doing to those monkeys! Poor fellas! That's it! I'm outta here!"
"Come on, dude! You can go out and get a burger or something. Dr. Williams is stuck up in space and you are complaining. Typical!"
"Oh, yeah! Hey, I'm going out for a burger. Want something?"
"Nah. I'm gonna have a salad."
"OK."
"Come on, dude! You can go out and get a burger or something. Dr. Williams is stuck up in space and you are complaining. Typical!"
"Oh, yeah! Hey, I'm going out for a burger. Want something?"
"Nah. I'm gonna have a salad."
"OK."
Another Five Days Later
"Well," said Dr. Williams, "I'm finally getting outta here. Good thing these tests are only ten days long. I can't wait to see my fish." The capsule came crashing down into Hidden Valley and the scientists all came out to check on Dr. Williams. When she opened the door, all the scientists fell back in horror, then just kinda stared. Before Dr. Williams was shot into space, she was really ugly. U-G-L-Y! That's why they fell back, because they knew was was coming. Or so they thought. All that Ranch with Bacon dressing and the gamma particles from the sun's ultraviolet rays made Dr. Williams the most beautiful woman in the history of women. (The three men in the team of seven fell in love immediately and the three women became insanely jealous and shot themselves into space. It's now been three weeks since we've heard from them. As for the blind guy, he made friends with the monkey, and they took a road trip to Kansas.) The dressing and rays and stuff also gave Dr. Williams unbelievably neat powers. She now has the ability to shoot Ranch with Bacon from her fingertips and make things she touches turn into lettuce. With these powers, she is now called SALAT FRAÜLEIN! Patrolling the streets, well, back streets and alleys of Hidden Valley, she keeps the scum out of those precious hidden valleys, and also makes sure those dopes never send her into space ever again. As for Crouton Girl, she just kinda wandered into H.V.H.Q. and tags along with SALAT FRAÜLEIN on her patrols. No real powers, just likes croutons.
The blind guy and the monkey are now in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Never trust a monkey to get you where you want to go. They're so stubborn and won't ask for directions.
The blind guys who needed to use the bathroom are still on the escalator, and they still have to go.
The blind guy and the monkey are now in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. Never trust a monkey to get you where you want to go. They're so stubborn and won't ask for directions.
The blind guys who needed to use the bathroom are still on the escalator, and they still have to go.
SALAT FRAÜLEIN
und Crouton Girl
und Crouton Girl
